i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
