She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
