How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
