I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
