actually, I'm a sock model
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
