At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
