Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
