he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
