smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Randomize
