1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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