Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
