Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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