Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize