her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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