just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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