i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize