she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everyone says I win the strip club
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize