Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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