So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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