Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
