I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
