we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
