i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
