you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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