I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
