i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
