I CAN MOONWALK!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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