My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
