OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
