what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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