he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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