There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
