In the future we'll all be gay
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
