A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
