She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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