Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
