I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
