he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
