Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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