He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
