You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Who died my cat blue again?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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