i would punch a child for taco bell
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
