we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
