I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
