she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
