I bet he comes in French.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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