my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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