out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
