You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
