at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
