Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
