i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
