And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
