No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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