Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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