This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
