reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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