Apparently you make a good broom.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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