Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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