i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
