It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
