East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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